Four years ago, this boy made me a mommy. My heart has been through a rough weekend of trying to come to terms with the fact that he’s growing so fast. More so than his first 3 birthdays, four has been a struggle. Maybe because this year there’s a new brother in the picture and I wasn’t able to really sit and “capture” 3 as much as I did before Mason was born. There are times when my heart feels so heavy and that I’m not giving him all I can when I’m tending to Mason.
This is the last year for the rest of his life under our roof where he won’t be in school full time. I have ONE YEAR LEFT before he steps foot into Kindergarten. The days of having so much time with him are becoming fewer. It’s one of the most heartbreaking things. The ugly cry is real.
Amongst these heavy feelings, I’ve also watched Tyler become such an amazing brother to Mason. He’s excelled in his first year of pre-k in so many ways. He’s making friends, learning in every moment and becoming such a caring individual. Wow, he makes me proud.
Since I’ve been a mom, I find myself living/talking in cliches. You hear all of these quotes from older people while you’re young. I can’t tell you how many times before I had kids that I heard people say “They grow up so fast” or hearing my mom say, “I can’t wait until you have kids of your own”. But the one cliche that hits close to home is , “the days are long and the years are short”. Some days, I want to pull my hair out and lock myself in the basement. We’re currently going though the “not listening” stage and it’s been rough. But then I think of him graduating high school in a short 14 years and I bawl my eyes out.
I know going from 4 to 5 will hit me like a tidal wave, so I’m going to make every effort to take in EVERY moment that is humanly possible. I want to cherish these precious, innocent moments with Tyler forever. Tyler, I love you. You and your brother have given me a complete meaning to life. It’s sad that these moments aren’t forever, but remember that I’ll always be your mommy and you’ll always be my baby. Happy birthday my love!